what i couldn't say: when i walked into your apartment the other day, it wasn't horrible at all like i thought it would be. seeing your face again only reminded me of all the good things about us. i was trying so hard to be angry about the bad things and the ways that you've hurt me, so i ended up confused. i only wanted to figure out a way to forget what is between us and be friends, whatever the cost. even if it's not the right thing, even if it means i'm making the worst decision ever anad only prolonging the pain.

what i said instead: would you like to go to the park and lay in the grass with me?